Dear Lindsey Lohan, come to Duluth!

I like the party girls
living in their party world
I’d burn your shit down Lindsey Lohan
If you ever came to town
You’ld only last five rounds
then you’ld be on the ground
seeking out a line of cocaine
fearing tomorrows pain
alcohol drowning your brain…

I would drive you home
    or hotel, or where ever
Holding your head up so you don’t pass out in the car
Get you home and help hold back your hair
as you are bowing before
the Porceline Gods
I would put you to bed
checking periodically
making sure
your still breathing
I’ll go sleep on the couch
I kind of like it there
feels like home
As long as it is long enough and I don’t have to crunch up like a dead bug with my arms and legs constantly searching for some position where they are not going to be falling asleep
The next morning a hearty breakfast would be
all that you would need to feel better
sober
cleaned up
Just in time for the Bloody Mary bar…..

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